Through the Summer and the Rain: A Dance in the Wind
by chimnney
Summary: Jonnor throughout the years. New love interest for Jude.
1. Jude

**Jude**

"Ladies and gentlemen, this chapter in your life has closed and a new chapter is about to begin," Principle Macintosh announced. Silence fills the air on this bitter-sweet occasion. "Four years ago you all were small freshman roaming the halls without aim nor purpose, now I look at you and I see adults who have successfully navigated through high school and are ready to take on the obstacles that will inevitable arrive, with grace and maturity…"

As the principle continues to address the graduating class, I glance over to Connor from a couple rows over, who meets my eyes. The tassel from my graduation hat dances across my cheek in the breeze. Even without words, Connor and I can still interact with simple gestures…sometimes just a look. The sun hits Connor's eyes in such a way that it illuminates the myriad of hues ranging from green to brown, and every shade in-between. I chuckle lightly to myself and feel a slight ruffling in my stomach when I see the watch that Connor is wearing. Connor loves watches, though he never actually uses them to tell the time and I tease him about it more often than I'd care to admit…but this watch…this is the watch that I bought him, myself.

 **(-.-)**

 _I tackle Connor's shoulders from behind, startling him in the funniest way. Giving him a massage by rubbing my thumbs into his shoulder blades, I whisper in his ear, "Guess what I got you?"_

 _"I hope it's a kiss…I think I deserve one considering how you literally scared the book out of my hand," Connor playfully complains._

 _"Better," I gleefully respond. I pull a watch out of my bag and snake my hand around his waist to show him. Softly kissing the nape of his neck, I fumble out, "…what do you think?" I flip Connor around by the shoulders so I can see his reaction. His eyes light up as a warm smile creeps across his face…the same smile with which I fell in love._

 _With child-like exuberance Connor exclaims, "Jude, I love it…what is this for…I feel bad now…I didn't get you anything in return."_

 _"Don't worry about it," I happily explain, "I saw this watch in the mall and I thought of you…and I know how you love watches…plus I don't need a special occasion to make you feel special…" I stammer, slightly trailing off and blushing. Connor pulls me in close for a long embrace. He's taller than I am, so I only go up to his neck, but I don't mind. His familiar scent of pine and teenage musk reminds me that I'm home._

 **(-.-)**

After the close of the surprisingly long graduation ceremony, families are still mingling about. Maneuvering through the crowd, I find Lena and Stef who promptly embrace me in an inviting hug, "Congratulations, Jude! We're so proud of you, hunny…we all are," Lena warmly says.

"Yes, Jude, if the rest of the gang were here, they'd say the same thing…they send their regards by the way," Stef chimes in.

"Thanks, Moms," I respond, "…have either of you seen Connor around?"

Pointing in a vague direction, "Yes, I believe I saw him over there a little while ago," Stef says straining her eyes to find him.

I eventually re-unite with Connor and proceed to reminisce and laugh about the good times we had in high school.

 _One Month Later_

"Judeeeeeeeee," Connor blurts out drawing emphasis the "e," "where are we going?"

"It's a surprise…you'll love it. _Trust me_ ," I retort determined to keep the element of surprise. "Okay…..now open," I proclaim proudly! Connor slowly opens his eyes to find a meticulously laid out picnic, complete with a few cold Bud Lights - Connor's favorite brand of beer; I myself don't drink that often…but I'll do it if I'm with him. Up here in the mountains is one of Connor's favorite places to go, and I can understand why: the breath-taking view of the ocean whose waves crash methodically into the shore and a vast forrest humming with wildlife still leaves me in awe…San Diego looks so peaceful from this far up. The scent of mint fills the atmosphere, since they grow all over the place up here.

After enjoying our meal, we both lay down on the grass, gazing up at the sky - it's now twilight. Still staring into the sky Connor ponders out loud, "D'ya think that there's anyone out there…ya know…like something bigger than all of us?"

"…you mean like a God," I clarify?

"…ya…maybe…I don't know…."

Still staring into the distance I articulate, "Honestly I have no idea…but I _choose_ to believe in God because it makes me feel better…though I have no proof-"

"ya, ya, I totally get it…"

"I choose to believe that everything happens for a reason, you know…I choose to believe that I met _you_ for a reason…and I thank God…or whoever for bringing you into my life…" I turn to Connor and smile.

"Well, _I_ _choose_ to believe that if something is meant to be, neither time, distance, nor space will be able to keep it apart," Connor replies clearly echoing Jude's syntax in a lightly sarcastic, yet completely genuine way.

We share a brief kiss. My eyes are closed, just experiencing the other sensations: Conor's warm breathe, the blades of grass tickling the sides of our cheeks, the faint songs of seagulls in the distance, and the aura of mint from the plethora of plants on this mountain side fills my nostrils. Connor breaks the kiss, returning his gaze to the sky. I study his profile, his expression, every nuance on his skin, and his golden hair in the sunset's glow. One of the many things that I adore about Connor is his wonder, his curiosity, and his excitement in life. I soon follow Connor's lead and shift my eyes back upon the heavens. I could stay here forever.


	2. Connor

**Connor**

 **(-.-)**

 _"Jude, we still have forty-five minutes until lights out…what should we do," I lazily question Jude? For a school sponsored event for middle-schoolers, our "lights out" time is generously late. Tents speckle the camp ground with yellow and red, contrasting the dark green of spring night's grass. Jude and I seclude ourselves in a semi-remote pocket of the moon-lit woods, a little ways from the rest of the group, but still close enough to see the faint orange glow of the bonfire and hear the bustling and laughter of the other students. The earth feels cool under my exposed skin…the dark abyss of the woods echoes with crickets and fireflies flicker their radiant glow creating a surreal ambience._

 _"Jude…JUDE," I bellow while playfully pushing him to the ground from his propped up position on his elbows._

 _"WHAT," Jude snarkily responds!_

 _"Did'ya hear me just now," I chuckle out, "You're always off in another world…"_

 _"No, I'm sorry," Jude apologizes softy._

 _"What are you thinking about," I inquire?_

 _"I don't know…a lot of things…but nothing really at all…sometimes I think about the stars," Jude confesses pensively._

 _"The stars?"_

 _"…ya…isn't it astounding that the stars are so far away, yet they still bring us such light and wonder even in the darkest of nights?"_

 _Lightly giggling I respond, "Ya…I guess…I've never really thought about it that way" I stare at Jude wildly grinning._

 _"WHAAAT," Jude protests?_

 _"Nothing…I just love…I love the way you look at things…the way you look at life"_

 _Pulling out my phone, I play an annoyingly over-exposed popular radio song through the phone's speakers. I stand up and extend my hand back down to Jude's, "Dance with me!"_

 _"…what," Jude raises an eyebrow?_

 _"You heard me…dance with me!"_

 _"I'm not a very good dancer, Connor"_

 _"That's okay…neither am I…come onnnn," I plead emphasizing the "n," "it'll be fun. I promise!"_

 _Still skeptical, Jude humors me and places his hand into mine. I yank him up to his feet, still clasping our hands together. I begin to dance in a really embarrassing way, never letting go of Jude, with the widest smirk on my face - I've never felt embarrassed around him. Under the moonlight, I could see Jude slowly starting to smile… "he's totally starting to get into it," I thought confidently to myself. I'd never seen him dance before. Then without warning, Jude takes the lead with his hands and movements, never breaking eye contact. Pleasantly taken aback, I simply follow his lead. He spins me around, under his arm, like in a waltz. It's magical. I've never seen Jude like this before. All I can do is grin uncontrollably like an idiot; my face turns beet red…though since it's late at night, I don't think Jude could tell. "Jude…you're so light on your feet…I didn't know you could move like that," I stammer out between deep, irregular, breaths._

 _Not missing a beat, Jude retorts with "there's a lot you don't know about me," with a mischievous expression._

 **(-.-)**

I take Jude to the roof of my house whenever I have something important to say. The red shingles are a little creaky, but sturdy…like Jude and I: we may not always agree, but we've always been a staple in each other's lives. My dad's off at work and my mom is never around, so privacy is never an issue. "Sunrise always looks so beautiful up here," Jude wistfully expresses. We lay down on the siding of the roof and Jude take's my hand.

"You look beautiful," I tell him…though it sounded less cheesy in my head. "Look…Jude…we're both graduated now…you're going off to Princeton…I'm going to UCSD…do you still want to..ya know…. _do_ this?"

Jude turns to me with a puzzled look, "…why would u ask that?"

"Well…I don't know…it's just that we're going to be so far away…and I don't want you to feel that you can't live your life…with…people…"

"…people," Jude questions mimicking Connor's tone?

"I just….want you to be happy."

"…what are you saying," Jude's volume increases?

"…I don't know…" I respond truthfully… "We're grown now…I just don't want us to grow apart and end up resenting each other," I say staring into the distance.

After a long pause Jude says softly, "I can't see into the future…but I'd never knowingly string someone along…"

"…wouldn't be the first time," I mumble almost completely under my breath. Jude clearly heard enough though because he rolled his eyes and turned away.

 **(-.-)**

 _"Class, we have a new student," Mr. Byerly announced, "He's an exchange student from Portugal…class, please give a warm welcome to Luca!" The class almost turns their collective head in unison when Luca enters the room. In walks a boy with golden mocha skin, thick, dark, curly hair that slightly covers his soulful chestnut eyes, and a laid back swagger that fits in quite nicely here in California. In a thick Portuguese accent, Luca introduces himself, "Hello…I'm Luca." He flashes the pure white of his teeth with a slight smile. I look over to view Jude's facial expression who appears to be completely smitten…as does the rest of the class. To be fair, he is gorgeous…I'll give him that._

 _A week or so later, upon Jude's request, we sit with Luca at lunch. Just being around him, it's hard not to like him…he gives off such a welcoming aura, even with his broken English. We eat and laugh, the three of us…though Luca seems to look right past me and only sees Jude. Luca mumbles something in Portuguese looking directly at Jude and begins to giggle…his smile and laugh are so contagious I couldn't help but laugh too, though I had no clue what he said. I don't need to know Portuguese, however, to understand the way he looks at Jude…I recognize it….because that's the way I look at Jude, too._

 _Luca joined the soccer team with me; he's pretty good. After one of our practices, I seek Luca out and congratulate him on his success on the field. Slightly embarrassed, he graciously thanks me and throws his arm around my shoulder. We walk off the field together, arms still around each other's shoulders discussing our favorite soccer players and complaining about coach. I wanted to dislike him so badly, but I couldn't…he's too nice. I just can't help the feeling that the closer Luca and Jude become, the further apart Jude and I become…maybe I'm just being paranoid._

 _[On the phone] "Hey Connor, I invited Luca over for a sleepover this weekend, you in," Jude asked with a slightly warped voice due to poor reception?_

 _"…nah, I think I'll sit this one out"_

 _"You sure, I really want you to come?"_

 _"Ya, I'm sure…you guys have fun…tell me all about it okay?"_

 _"…okay."_

 _"Bye, Jude."_

 _"Bye, Connor."_

 **(-.-)**


	3. Luca

**Luca**

 **(-.-)**

 _My exchange family drops me off on Jude's driveway; I twist around to wave goodbye, "Tchau!" I skip my way up to the door, softly humming a sweet melody, armed only with my cavaquinho slung across my back. Jude must have seen or heard my coming, because he opened the door before I had the chance to knock._

 _"Hey Luca, come in," Jude invites like a gracious host!_

 _I simply smirk and enter in…Jude follows behind. "I didn't know that you could play guitar," Jude blurts out pointing to the instrument on my back, "I'd love to hear something sometime."_

 _Trying to sound as sexy as possible I respond, "It'd be my pleasure, senhor!" Jude's face lights up at the sound of anything non-English and I blush knowing I made him smile._

 _After an evening of shenanigans and tomfoolery, Jude and I retire to his room. His room is slightly messy, but an organized mess; gusts of air breeze through the open window, and the chips of birds resonate throughout the house. "Sorry for the mess," Jude apologizes. "No problem," I chuckle softly giving Jude a playful push. We both sit down on the floor leaning back against the side of Jude's bed…in silence…and serenity…we could still hear the faint lullaby from the wind chimes outside. I lean my head back and close my eyes…pausing in the moment. After a couple minutes, I stretch over to pick up my cavaquinho which had been laying on the floor, graze my fingers across the strings creating a distinct sound, and glance at Jude who was gazing back at me from his laid back position, eyes low. Flashing him a sly smile, I peer back down upon my instrument, mentally surveying my finger placement beforehand. I close my eyes and (in my best American accent) begin to sing,_

 _"Wise men say only fools rush in/_

 _but I can't help falling in love with you…" Glancing up at Jude, our eyes meet. Thinking to be clever, I extend my hand to Jude,_

 _"Take my hand, take my whole life too/_

 _for I can't help falling in love with you…" I lift my fingers away, though the echo of my last chord still lingers in the air. I spring up and dramatically take a bow like I had seen in American plays then promptly plop back down._

 _Jude erupts in applause smiling and leaning his shoulders lightly into mine, "That was incredible!" I gently set my instrument back down on the floor and lean back against the bed. Our faces are close enough to hear each other's breathing. I delicately trace my fingers across Jude's leg and rests them on his inner thigh, periodically massaging back and forth. He stirs, but doesn't move my hand away…just closes his eyes, inhaling deeply. I lean in close twisting my body across his, but pausing before making contact. I rest my forehead on his, both of our eyes closed. We remain here for what seems like hours, just breathing and sensing. Then Jude closes the small space left between our lips. I return the kiss, moving my other hand up to clasp Jude's neck…embracing his enchanting presence._

 _Abruptly, Jude breaks the kiss and stands up, "I'm…sorry…I shouldn't have done that…I'm seeing Connor…I…I'm sorry…" He leaves me alone in his room. Things become still…quiet. Light particles dance in the sunlight shining through the open window. I lean my head back, squeeze my eyes shut, run my fingers through my hair, and exhale deeply._

 **(-.-)**

 _Graduation Day_

 **(-.-)**

 _I spot Connor through the crowd and wave; he smiles warmly and motions for me to come closer. He reaches out and grabs my shoulder, "We made it, buddy…finally free!"_

 _"Yes…we did," I chuckle. I give him a hug and tell him to keep in touch, as I'll be returning home to Portugal soon. Seeing us, Jude walks up and joins the conversation slinging his arms around both of us, "What's up, guys," Jude shouts frat-boy style. We all laugh and Connor playfully punches Jude in the arm. "Listen, guys, I see my mom over there so I have to go," Connor laments, "I'll see you around, Luca…" pausing for a second and smiling at Jude, "…Jude," he walks away._

 _"It's been great having you here the last couple of years, Luca," Jude tells me. Inhaling, I blush and get ready to respond, but Jude quickly adds, "I'll miss you…a lot…and I'm sorry…for everything…I hope we can still keep in touch."_

 _We exchange contact information. I throw my arms around Jude, wrapping him up in my embrace, "I'll never forget you," I confess and walk away. After walking a few feet, I peer my head back to find Jude still looking into my eyes…searching for something…but I turn back around and continue walking._

 **(-.-)**


	4. Jude: Final Chapter

**Jude**

It's so cool of Connor's parents for letting us use their lake house for the weekend. This is the last weekend before we leave for college…being separated from him didn't seem real until just now.

"Are we there yet," I playfully whine?

"We'll get there when we get there," Connor retorts mimicking a parental tone!

I lean the seat back and prop my feet up on the dashboard, the windows half way down, letting in a slight breeze. I swing my head over to stare at Connor while he drives; I study every detail of him, from his sandy hair to his plaid "lumber-jack" style shirt that he loves to wear. I could look at him forever and never get tired of what I see.

Sometime later, Connor swats my leg to wake me up from my light nap, "Jude. Jude…check it out…we're here." I regain my composure to behold and take in the picturesque scenery that lies in front me. It's no mansion by any means, but it's beautiful in it's own way: a thick wooden roof covers the cobblestone bricks that line the side of the house, a wooden balcony extends over the water (which looks unusually peaceful), and a whiff of cedar lingers in the atmosphere. Slowly, I inhale and exhale deeply. The air out here feels…fresh…pure. Connor twists the key to turn off the engine and we sit in silence for a few minutes, just appreciating the beauty that surrounds us. Connor eventually opens his door causing a wisping sound; he meanders around to the other side of his truck and opens my door for me. I tell him repeatedly that he doesn't have to do that kind of stuff for me, but I think that he knows that I secretly love it. I step out of the truck smiling and pause to survey our environment, the lake, the house, Connor.

After two wonderful days of hiking, swimming, and intimacy, Connor and I lay out on the balcony on an appropriately named "love-seat" outdoor sofa, feet propped up on the matching foot-stool, curled up in each other's arms. We're listening to some guitar instrumentals that I play from my phone through the outdoor speakers…I find it sets the mood. I snuggle my head into the groove in Connor's shoulder and neck that seems to fit perfectly with me, like we're meant to complete each other.

"Jude…this weekend has been great," Connor affirms, kissing my forehead, "…but after this, we're not going to see each for a long while…" I sit up.

"Jude, I have to be honest…I care about you _so_ much…but I don't know if I can do a long distant relationship…"

"W-what…are you saying," I respond concerned?

"Jude, I….I need…I need you _here_ …I need someone to hold me…to touch me…and I-"

"You what?"

"I know that you need those things too…even if you don't admit it…I can't…I can't do this…I can't do this to you…and I can't do this to myself."

"Are you saying that we…should break up?"

"Ya…I guess I am."

I don't argue because deep down I know that he's right. Starting to feel sick, my stomach twists into a knot, and I bury my face in Connor's chest; Connor rubs my back soothingly.

"I love you," Connor whispers, still massaging my back.

"…I know…I love you too," I whimper back.

We spend the rest of our time that weekend in each other's arms.

 _One Year Later_

School's going great here at Princeton; my teachers are so wonderful and well knowledged. I'm making lot's of new friends, though it gets crazy cold here in New Jersey…definitely did NOT sign up for that. Overall, however, things are going well…well enough. I talk to Lena and Stef every week religiously; it's important to me to keep that connection to my family. I still keep in contact with Connor via Facebook and Snapchat…though it's not the same. In fact, nothing feels right without him here…I try to suppress that feeling, but it rears its ugly head every so often.

 _One Year Later_

"Jude, are you sure you want to transfer…I have to say…I think you're making a big mistake," my favorite writing professor pleads with me. "I understand, but I have to do this," I say half convincing him, half convincing myself. My professor looks into my eyes with a wise smile, "…I know…good luck, son." I hug him and confide that I'll never forget his teachings. I board a plane two days later.

 _University of California, San Diego_

I walk up to a secluded grassy area on the quad outside to find a familiar face. The moonlight illuminates the already well lit campus, so even though it's dark out, I can see fine. It's nice to be back in my hometown I must say. I tap him on the shoulder, "Hey, stranger…your roommate told me I'd find you here!"

Connor turns around and drops his coffee, "…Hey…Jude…what are yo-" Connor's eyes beam with a familiar light, "Jude…I'm so glad you're here…hey…" He scoops me up in his arms and twists me around, not as high off the ground as he use to though (I've gained some muscle since we last saw each other).

"So what brings you to town…why didn't you tell me that you were coming," Connor questioned still grinning?

"Well actually…I kind of…uh…transferred here," I reveal clumsily.

"YOU WHAT?"

I grab both of Connor's shoulders, "Listen, I have to tell you something important and I need you to listen and let me finish, okay?" He nods.

"I uh…I tried to move on with my life…I really tried, but I can't, okay. I CAN'T. My clothes don't smell like you anymore and I…I h-" trailing off, "I _hate_ it. When I was away…away from you, I realized something," I could feel my eyes starting to water up, "…it's getting late and dark outside, and it's time for me to come home," I choked back a tear determined not to cry, "Connor…you are…you _are_ my home, and I'm tired of running…I can't do it anymore." I close my eyes feeling tears slowly trickling down my face. Connor cups my cheeks and wipes the tears away with his thumbs, "Jude, what about your writing…I know how important that is to you," Connor speaks softly.

"Connor, I don't want to write if I can't have you in my life…you make my writing better…you make _me_ better…so I transferred here…and we can figure the rest out together…if I'm…if I'm not too late."

I reach down for Connor's hand, but my fingers clink against something hard and metal. Slightly confused due to it being dark, I lift his arm to discover that he's wearing the watch that I bought him all those years ago. "You're not too late, Jude," Connor says warmly, a tear racing down his cheek. Slowly covering my mouth with my slightly shaking hands, I begin to weep silently. Connor wraps his arms around my back, neck, and head. He brings his forehead to mine, "I love you, Jude Adams Foster."

"I love you too…I always have…and I always will." We kiss and all the feelings that I've been missing and yearning for _flood_ back at once in a maelstrom of bliss.

"YO, Connor…who's that…AWE, LOOK AT YOU TWO," a random guy shouts from across the quad. "Shut up, Jake," Connor yells back, laughing and wiping away a tear.

Sniffing still with watery eyes, I look up at Connor with a sly smile, "Didn't think you could get away from me that easily, did you?"

"Not for a second," Connor retorts punching me playfully in the arm.

 **(-.-)**

 _"Alright everyone, lights out! Everyone back to their tents now," announces the chaperone!_

 _Connor and I, however, are already tucked away in our tent, half asleep…we got kind of tired after playing in the woods. Though that booming voice certainly woke us from our daze. We're both wrapped in our blankets, parallel, lying on the soft spring ground, staring up at the top of our tent._

 _"Jude," Connor whispered?_

 _"Yes?"_

 _"You awake?"_

 _"Ya, you?"_

 _"…ya….can I ask you something," Connor proposed, "Do you think we'll be friends forever?"_

 _"Yes…I do," I respond confidently, "Connor, I'm…I'm so happy that I met you." I turn my head to look Connor in the eyes to find that he's already looking at me. I smile._

 _Connor stretches his arm across my waist to twist himself over until he's hovering directly atop me. Only inches away, I look into his eyes and he looks into mine, and for the first time I truly 'see' him…I see his soul…I see…Connor._

 _Connor caresses my lips with his, and I close my eyes instinctively. Connor quickly recoils back to his sleeping bag._

 _"Connor," I whisper._

 _"Yes," he replies._

 _Only loud enough that he can hear, I utter, "This is the best day of my life."_

 **(-.-)**


End file.
